Read My Mind

The problem is communication. We hear about the need of communication in every kind of relationship. We here about how important communication is in marriages and in business. Communication is a two way street. I disagree. Communication is more than a two way street. It’s more than just two people talking and taking turns. We don’t know how to talk with each other.

I offer you a few words about communication that might help you. When talking, remember that it involves what is being said. It involves what is meant. And it includes how it is taken. There are at least these three elements if communication, real communication is to happen. Failure to acknowledge this could mean failure unnecessarily. Let me explain.

Let’s talk about what is said. There is always what is actually being said while talking. What we say, the words we chose are of utmost importance, so choose wisely. The old adage about sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me is not true. Maybe it should be and would be nice if it was, but words can hurt. What we say can penetrate like a bullet through cardboard. Words can cut you down as easily as a hot knife through butter. So, this is the first layer of communicating.

Then, there is what is actually meant by what is being said. This is important because what we say and what we mean to say are not actually the same. So we run the risk of saying things that are not received the way we intended. This happens more times than not. It’s possible for two people to engage in a conversation, giving and receiving, and yet not be on the same page of understanding. So here we are responding without understanding. Learn this formula. Responding without understanding equals misunderstanding. Now you’re in a heated debate without realizing that neither of you are really talking about the same thing.

Now, there is the third element of how what you said is taken. Something is taken the wrong way. It’s hard, if not impossible to communicate for the purpose of intimacy, healing or production and something is taken the wrong way, and you have no idea of this new and unneeded development. Now things are in a tailspin, worse than when you started and no real hope of recovery.

At least acknowledge that communication is more than just a penned in time at the end of the day. It’s more than a list of facts or happenings. It’s not just a way of getting what you want or getting your point over to someone. You need to talk about concerns and fears and dreams without fear of being mocked or threat of relationship termination. The less we talk the more we will have problems. I know it seems like it’s better not to talk. At times a break can be beneficial, but as an answer to all problems is not recommended.

I give this for free. Don’t require anyone to be a mind reader. And don’t try to read another person’s mind. People don’t always do well with hints and clues. Read your mind? Who has the time?

So important because 2 people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.